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Mittwoch, 27. April 2011

KABUL POOL PARTY (2011)

The vision for this project is naive, simple and beautiful. We've been told that is dangerous too, at least for now. This dream might be realizable in thirty or fourty years, or never. But we'd like to keep on working towards it, respectfully, peacefully and with great curiosity, as a symbol of hope and international interest in this country. We cannot forget about Afghanistan, its cultural richness and exclusive traits, its people.

http://visionforumafghanistan.blogspot.com/

Researching the Afghan Culture Scene, a frustrating business

It's funny, you read on so many websites and announcements (of depressing e-flux ads and other dubious invitation platforms that sport the international art scenes as the number one a world healer) that the afghan art scene is thirsty for some shoulder rubbing with cultural workers from around the world. but when you approach them - nada no reaction. why is that, is there still fear around for interacting with foreigners? Or am I too spoilt, to much used to an art world full of false curiosity and fake niceties?


I guess in Afghanistan seeing is believing. 
I must go there I want to go there, I want to meet people from there and learn. 

Dienstag, 1. März 2011

Cairo Report, May 4 till 30, 2010

Researching CULTURAL ACTIVISM IN THE MIDDLE EAST  


To conduct interviews with cultural activists, journalists and artists in Cairo, or Egypt, marked a decisive moment for my research on art and politics, which I started in 2006. I have been in the Arab region before but have not had the chance to dig deeper into the social asphalt to see below the surface of what at first can appear like an impenetrable social landscape if not shockingly different from (for the biggest part) spatially and physically controlled Europe. On the day of my arrival, Mohamed, the handy-man of the apt block where we (my boyfriend, my six months-old baby-son and me) would spend the next four weeks in, led us to a grocery store behind the house. The experience was mind-blowing. The environment appeared chaotic, loud, hyper active and more than anything else – male. The public space was appropriated by a mass of younger and older people who redefine its function; streets and sidewalks alike were turned into a vast car fixing place or parking lot, busy and brimming with men and a few women of all age shouting, standing, sitting and above all watching. I felt estranged and maladroit. Too white, too blond, too Western. I hardly dared to look around me. This was a place for people used to live with density and noise; for people who had learned to ignore the bad air and lack of space between things and among themselves. I went back to the apartment exhausted and emotionally drained. Afraid even.

The next day it all changed, and change would keep embracing me. I would learn to pass between moving cars, even cross four and eight lanes of fast driving vehicles if I had to. I started to see more than dilapidated sidewalks, litter and men looking at me too long. I started to look back into men’s and women’s eyes, exchange smiles with people of all ages, and I saw beauty and fragility. I started to ignore the constant hissing and the "what are you looking for?" as well as the relentlessly thrown at me  "welcome to Egypt, what's your name?" and instead addressed people myself. I started to gain my agency back, the feeling that I can decide when to interact and when not to. Although being Western in Cairo is a 24hour job, you're visible and Egyptians like to gaze and let you know that they do. Back in Switzerland I would miss this openness and accessibility but in Cairo it would first take me weeks to learn to draw a line in order to have some privacy in public. It is terrible to be treated as a tourist around the clock, to feel that men see just the Western woman that looks for company and more. There seemed to be little chance to satisfy my curiosity for the many layers of reality around me that I wanted to bombard with a million questions. In respond to this, I observed myself changing my behavior in the street, I started to use the attention paid to me to my advantage when possible, while being shortcut and decisive. I moved away from an attitude of general openness and became the stranger who knows exactly where she goes and what she wants. Which was partially a natural development and more true every day and partially trained and self-imposed. On the other hand, every exchange about everyday things, a smile here, a joke there, was tremendously enriching and relaxing, and made me feel "at home chez vous”.

An intensified exchange with the public is fruitful on many levels and makes a lot of sense in Cairo – for the many self-organized (and self-employed) Egyptians who only come by if being at the right time at the right place in order to do a little job here and there next to their many other occupations to earn a livelihood, as it is for the traveler, the tourist, the resident. I regret not having tried to set up language lessons from day one in order to be more capable of learning who the people are that I came across. (That is something Pro Helvetia could offer when enlisting people for Cairo, auggestive list of teachers.)  The interaction with people in the street is vital in order to understand what one is looking at, and what it, for instance, means if police is omnipresent, and why they can act as if thy were above the law while they represent it, and what many reasons there might be why 98% of all women are veiled, and why cars are such a hype in the absence of any traffic law, or why many men show a mark on their forehead and why the zoo is squatted like a public park by mostly socially underprivileged people, as it seemed. Through the interviews I conducted I could astonishingly quickly catch up with a lot of vital knowledge in order to get a sense of the complexity of the many Cairos around me as well as the many pasts of this vibrating city. A similarly enriching study place apart from the streets are the coffee places, the ones hidden away between the housing blocks where you sit at sticky aluminum or wooden tables on colorful plastic chairs, placed tightly next to each other like sardines in a tin can (I still remember the taste of hibiscus and mango juices and the ahua), as well as the formerly established coffee houses of grandeur that are spacious and low-noised, where young couples meet to sit and whisper, hold hands and where men make their girlfriend-fiancées little presents, business men have coffee as well as families gather –  like the Groppi and the Riche. There are street cafes where the musicians meet, and others where the painters come together. I didn’t have the time to visit enough of them, but I can say for sure that one does fritter time in these places. It is like stepping into a wormhole, before you know it darkness falls and it seems like soon after the waiters start to clean the streets in front of their establishment in order to close them up, the muezzins have long stopped singing and the unyielding “music of Cairo” (I am citing Mohamed the driver, “a good man”), the honking car sound, has ebbed a bit, while you have done nothing but sitting, watching, talking, and sipping.

As for my interviews, I rather quickly developed a certain strategy that helped me to begin the conversation. I would start off with the question how my respective dialogue partner would describe the political situation in Egypt and Cairo specifically and what she or he felt the impact of contemporary art was. The political situation in Cairo at the time of my stay was tense. People were demonstrating against the government since many, many months. Mubarak, the leader of the country since 1981, was old and sick. Al Baradei, who was dealt as a potential alternative when I arrived in Egypt, in no time disqualified himself as a serious candidate. He was not very politically minded, not a fighter, just a charmer, someone who enjoys the publicity, playing with the population's expectation for change. Two weeks into my stay people stopped talking about him. Mubarak's son seemed to become the sore but accepted only solution. Someone who has “no political credits, but will be powerful anyway”, as he is the son of the president in an authoritarian regime, explained an artist to me. An other artist teaching at a public art education school in Cairo as well as at the American University in Cairo (“a schizophrenic professional situation”) told me that he expected no more from the government than to keep the chaos at bay, to make sure that things roll on, not that they get better but that they continue and the state doesn’t fall apart.  A Palestinian artist who lives in Jordan and was in residency in Cairo stated that he didn't care who was next in power, it was a corrupted position anyway; all the same, he believed in Egypt, he had to believe in Egypt, he said, as it was the only country that could get the Middle East out of its complacency. Only Egypt can propel the Arab region out of its stasis, he was convinced.

Egypt is a dictatorship, everyone agreed on that. Some said things have never been as bad as they were now. Pointing to the increase of poverty, the lack of jobs and schooling, let alone health care and social serviced, while the government obstructs change that would come with new social policies and legislation, defending its privileges and invested interests. People are kept busy struggling with life so they cannot build up opposition, I often heard. The prices go up constantly while the wages, being already very low, only follow up in baby steps (something the self- or non-employed do not benefit from at all). Demonstrations were being held by the urban poor, the underprivileged, the low class, the informal, a mass that daily grows. People can get loud in this country. They are technically free to shout out their misery publicly as long as they are not informing an audience that becomes active. Censorship cannot be felt as long as what you are doing doesn’t threaten the status quo on the other hand, it I shard to know what in the governments eye is a threat (specific content? Working with international organizations? Building new communities?). Activists are put in jail if they can raise a mass. Splinter groups of young people are mobilizing against the government, this is a new phenomenon I am told, they form groups and strategically collaborate, young people who choose not to marry and start families, who have nothing to loose, "nothing to cry about at the end of the day", they fight for change, with less fear than anyone else. Marriage is a big topic in a culture where you are not allowed to have sex before you got a ring on your finger. The veil is back; fashionably accessorized young women show it off in the streets downtown, wearing tighter clothes with it than most western women would choose too. Governmental representatives speak about a new religious shift, and lament about it – but has the veil specifically really got that much to do with religion, or is it a reaction to a social desolation? With unemployed being so high, someone tells me, it becomes harder and harder for young men to satisfy their fiancées demands (for washing machines, cars, TVs etc.). In order for these young women to be able to make these demands they themselves have to be impeccable “goods of exchange”, superwomen, saints, untouched, without fault, and what else but following the (more than easily available) religious instruction can prove that. The veil is chosen in Egypt and not dictated by law, but are these young women taking it freely?
I enjoyed the naughty veiled young women pulling faces and being loud, and the crowds of school girls teasing each other veiled or not. A cultural activist told me the story of his mother choosing the veil in her fifties, much less for sociopolitical reasons than as a reaction to the lack of intimacy her husband could offer her. I assume that every headscarf has its own story to tell.
Anyways, social Islamism is rising and plays probably a more important role than political Islamic parties like the Muslim brothers.

In contrast to the individuals who felt that Egypt reached its low-point, there was also a fraction of people who thought that things where never better. On some paradoxical level the latter asserted the former group’s opinion of the desolate state situation. What the optimists referred to was the fact that people didn't wait for the government anymore, they lost all hopes in that direction, and had no tears left (unlike Nasser when he resigned and his dream of a free Egypt came to an end, Nasser who still is a hero for many people old and young, and is often used for politically engaged artists to deconstruct the blind nostalgia at stake, two artists who employed original TV footage showing Nasser for their work got under serious attack from the conservative and Nasser party press while I was in Cairo).

In the contemporary art scene a new kind of agency and cultural activism seems to rise or is already in place. Step by step becoming more daring and independent after each tiny success. These individuals act cleverly and cunningly always aware of the invisible but very real sword of censorship hovering over their heads. It is not a resistance movement that wastes its energy on trying to change the big picture top down, but chooses to act bottom up and implement difference in its close proximity. It is not a grass root movement, or a “social nonmovement” as Asef Bayat describes it, something that individuals do in their daily practice, not connected to each other, a change that comes about over time. What we see in the art scene in Cairo is the result of decisive action coming from mostly upper middle-class subjects with a strong sense of responsibility, well traveled people with an ambition for their country and good connections to Europe and the US. They organize themselves with like-minded peers; some work under the radar of the government, others try to communicate with the ministry of culture without involving it too much. “It is important that you follow through with your program, your ideas, to pause and doubt is suspect to them, after a while they let you work”, a director of a cultural institution tells me. These activists seem not frustrated but impatient. They have been abroad, they know that the world turns fast and that they have to become visible in order to matter. It is a new drive to take action and to make others understand that they have nothing to wait for, and that there is no one else to blame. Many cultural organizers speak of new projects ideas for this year and especially during the upcoming Cairo Biennale in December. I am curious to find out what they can achieve and where new strategies will become necessary. It is this social engagement, the intellectual and cultural activism that I will further observe in different countries in the Arab region, with a focus on Egypt.

Lillian Fellmann, June 2010

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Beirut, June 7-10, 2010

I was invited by Culture Resource as an observer participant at the “1st conference on cultural policies in the Arab region” in Beirut on June 7-9, 2010. This gathering impressively showed that the other seven countries apart from Egypt, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Palestine, Egypt, Algeria, Tunisia and Morocco, have to work under similar conditions: authoritarian states, ministries of culture who don’t know or don’t want to know what the reality of the art scenes they govern look like (the Iranian minister of culture reproachfully stated that he did not recognize his country when reading the report two researchers accomplished for the conference report publication, and demanded for more experienced examiners in the field), and a civil society that is fragile and not well connected to their communities, while many NGOs deny the exchange with the government, which leads to a situation where the NGOs take on tasks that should be state affair. The gap between civil sector and government is painful and needs to be filled if social change truly is the goal of all these activities. All people presents have experienced some sort of harassment and different degrees of censorship from the government. In conversations with representatives of cultural institutions from Morocco and Tunisia it seemed to me that the concept of contemporary art and with it the distinction between what the artist and what the curator does was not established yet. The demand on the artist as a community builder seemed overwhelming and to my mind in many cases dangerous. On the other hand, the engagement for change coming from the representatives of the eight countries at the conference was stimulating, and the readiness of the international NGOs and foundations present to assist with their experience inspiring. There was a tangible will to listen to each other. A Jordanian cultural activist said, she felt that there was an elephant in the room on the first day, and people got sensitive to make sure it would disappear.

The importance of a general awareness campaign as well as the collaboration with academic, cultural and other multipliers for the broader awareness of the goals of the conference and the concept of “cultural policies” at large was established. The near future will show whether the ideas collected and the momentum gained can be translated into collaborative and intensified practices of exchange between the countries and sustain further national research and production for the implementation of cultural policies in the Arab countries as an ongoing project. I will continue to observe this vital and complex project as well as evaluate the research done so far as soon as the English translation of the material will be online (September 2010) or in print (end of the year.) The independent Palestinian researchers except for one Palestinian official were not admitted entrance into Lebanon; they did not get visas. The Embassy simply didn’t get back to them until it was too late.

Lillian Fellmann, Beirut, June 2010

While I sit in the café Younes late at night in Hamra finishing my report for Pro Helvetia, a Syirian poet comes up to me. He hands me over a note with two lines of a poem where the poet describes the eyes of his girlfriend. The lines are written in Arab as he could not translate the words into English. He saw me working and saw my eyes and remembered these two lines. He left Syria because he was put into prison several times for his art. He is not completely safe in Beirut he says but “it is better here”. He hopes to be in Berlin in a year. I wish you all the best Mouhamed Diab. You are couragous.

Donnerstag, 28. Oktober 2010

PARTIES OUTSIDE THE KPPP IN KABUL

May 9, 2010

Where to party in the world's war zones

Hardcore cities have hardcore clubbing scenes. Kate, 37, a TV news producer, reveals the secret party life of Kabul

The weekend starts on a Thursday in the Muslim world, and Kabul is no different. As the sun goes down, the devout turn their minds to prayer, but for the international crowd of journalists, diplomats, NGO workers and mercenaries, the weekend is all about chasing alcohol. It isn’t illegal, but the vice and virtue ministry introduced laws a few years back to make it far more difficult to get hold of. You can buy it in hotels, clubs and restaurants, but everyone has a bootlegger — either a diplomat selling off his extra supply or a well-connected local.
Last month, the government cracked down hard on anyone selling illegal alcohol, and the atmosphere has become much more tense, but the harder it is to get, the more people drink, and the fact that the main ingredient of every party is tinged with danger only adds to the charged atmosphere. In addition, many diplomats, UN and military types have curfews, and must be back on their compounds by 10pm, which intensifies the binge-drinking.
Popular hang-outs include the Kabul Health Club, with its organic menu, and the lovely outdoor pool at the Serena hotel. If we’re in the mood to party, we meet at Gandamak Lodge, owned by a former BBC cameraman, Peter Juvenal. The bar is themed around the Flashman books. The military love it. They throw a lot of black-tie dinners there, including the annual Trafalgar Ball, which commemorates British military victories.
If it’s a Friday, we go to L’Atmosphère, L’Atmo for short. It’s a very good French restaurant (excellent frog’s legs, foie gras and steak, and an impressive cellar), and there’s a bar and swimming pool. We arrive all covered up, but then strip down to sit by the pool.
The hedonism in Kabul is full-on, fast-paced and only for the hardcore, but I wouldn’t call it cool. I went to one party where a woman stood by the door flicking a light switch on and off — that was our disco. Things are looking up, though. A new dance club, Martini’s, which is owned by rich, well-connected Afghans, is extraordinary. Hidden on a residential street, it doesn’t have a sign. You have to know where it is, and there are armed guards on the door. You can’t blag your way in, you have to be on the list.
Inside, it is enormous and, with fake rustic wooden furniture and purple and green wall paper, like a bar in Shoreditch. The house drink is a pomegranate martini. There are DJs every Thursday and Friday, and the city’s hottest band, Kabul Dreams, played there recently — they do a mean cover of Oasis’s Wonderwall. There are lots of glammed-up blondes who look as if they have stepped out of Chelsea. They don’t wear miniskirts; it’s all about skinny jeans. The guys wear jeans, trendy trainers and beanies. Everyone dances downstairs, but the interesting stuff goes on in the upstairs VIP suite, which has a private entrance. Here, you might get a notorious local warlord mixing with It girls and the political elite.
Everyone is young, ambitious and keen to make contacts. The barriers you would normally find are down and sex is never far from the agenda. Men outnumber women, and they are always on the lookout. Their first interest is whether you are single and available. I heard of one party where guests had to jump into the pool to get condoms, but in any conflict area, that combo of a big NGO community, hacks and mercenaries is fiery.
Kabul has a dark side. Guns are everywhere and all the bars and restaurants have metal detectors. There’s a security lobby that you go through first, with signs reading “Drinking alcohol? No weapons”. The guards check your bag, then they open another door and you find yourself on a lawn or a path to the restaurant.
Most of the really rowdy stuff happens at private houses. People are wilder and feel able to let their hair down properly in private, especially since the government crackdowns on foreign drinking holes. It’s all about who you know. There’s a group of Old Etonian types who throw good parties. They love fancy dress and threw a hilarious “tarts and Taliban” party. Most people came as Taliban — it was easier to get away with the costume because of the security restrictions.
A few drinks on a Friday or Saturday often lead to an all-nighter. If you don’t have a good war story, you feel very left out. It’s all about who can tell the most gripping tale. In Kabul, you never know what’s going to happen the next day. There’s nothing fun about covering a breaking news story with a stonking hangover, but that’s no excuse to stay in.

KABUL POOL PARTY PROJECT (KPPP) IN AFGHANISTAN

KPP (Kabul Pool Party Project) is in touch with artists, activists, cultural institutions and development workers in Afghanistan in order to realize its project. See contribution March 2010. We need to tighten our network in Kabul in order to create a group of collaborators.

At a time when faith in the government is wavering and the Taliban are re-emerging, the role of independent media in the Afghan provinces is becoming increasingly important.  Internews http://www.internews.org/, with support from USAID, continues to ensure that independent media have a voice in Afghanistan, from large commercial radio stations to small community stations largely run by volunteers.
Internews Country Director Vanessa Johanson noted, “The enthusiasm of the station staff and community in Wardak to rebuild their station in cooperation with Internews is one indication that even in the most difficult conflict situations radio is a priority, indeed a necessity.”
The station manager at Radio Yawali Ghag, Mr Hazratuddin confirmed Johanson’s comments, “Our people are elated that we are back on air, especially the students and clerics.  They condemned the torching of the station and thought that the perpetrators were the enemies of our nation, culture and people.” 

Radio Yawali Ghag studio
Yawali Ghag is back on the air after being burnt to the ground in August by Taliban fighters.

 Radio is central to post-Taliban democratic development, particularly at the local level. A recent survey by the Asia Society found, – “more than half the people interviewed got their news from the radio – and said that they trust the broadcast media more than politicians or the courts.” 

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WOMEN ARTISTS

Female artists in Afghanistan try to benefit form a political breather and put some work out while the Taliban are getting stronger again and might participate in the government soon, what taht means for the women, they can only fear.

http://atwar.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/06/women-and-modern-art-in-afghanistan/



.Masks

A collaborative piece titled “Fall in Spring,” by Arefa Honryar, Zarghona Hotak, Sodaba Mehrayan, Sara Nabil and Arezo Waseq, part of the arts center’s exhibition


.Shout

‘Scream’, by Marzia Nazary, at the arts center’s exhibition.

Dienstag, 28. September 2010

Samstag, 17. Juli 2010

A TALE ABOUT PRISHTINA

Back in Skopje, Center for Photography
Yane and Elena at Pro Helvetia Skopje.
A catholic priest explaining the church gate's ornament to Sixten.
Martin and Elena interviewing a theorist in Sopje.
Taken from the bus – from Skopje to Prishtina
On the way to Satcion in Prishtina.
Albert at Stacion in Prishtina.

September 23/24, 2008, or, Two times 122 km

There is always a before (traveling)

As always, it takes other people to get your own shit running. In this case it all started with Sarah Lookofsky. We were both at the board of the catalogue committee for the megalomaniac Master of Arts exhibition of the eight Southern Californian art schools in Pasadena. This was in 2004. We kept in touch and three years later, the both of us won a curatorial competition to organize the international exhibition Land Grab at apexart in New York. It was at the opening of this show that I met Yane Calovski. He seemed to have fallen from the sky when he addressed me that night, as I hadn’t noticed him in the crowd before. Wearing big, black glasses and a broad grin, which seemed to reach from one end of his face to the other, he left a vivid impression on me. When we ran into each other again at an art fair in Rotterdam, I immediately remembered these two character traits. This second brief encounter was followed by a few emails and a phone call, which resulted in an invitation to come to Skopje and work at Press-to-exit, the art space Yane and Hristina Ivanoska are running. Yane showed up at apexart because of Albert, who participated in Land Grab. Albert Heta is an artist and the director of the contemporary art space, Stacion, in Prishtina. He runs this Center for Contemporary Art with the architect Vala Osmani. They have a child together whose godfather is Yane. Wooloo Productions, a Danish duo with an online art community, offered their online platform for an open call for Land Grab. Sarah and I went by the place where they housed a project in New York while we were setting up our show. During the sushi dinner that followed that night, we found out that Sixten’s life partner was the best friend of one of my friends, the Danish artist Bettina Camilla Vestergaard, whom I got to know in Los Angeles. Without this exhibition and the people I met through it a, by now four year long, study on the relationship of art and politics would not have taken place in that way, and this story could not have been told.

0

September 24, 2008. I looked over to Martin who stared out of the window. His posture communicated a state of contemplation, maybe surrender, too. His left hand rested on the seat before him, his right knee pulled up and squeezed in, in front of his chest. Sixten sat in the row behind me. He didn’t make a peep. We were exhausted from the attempt to be idiots. From the trial to care about what we felt and could not express instead of doing what we were expected to do. As we pulled out of the bus station in Prishtina, I asked myself why it felt so bad to be courageous? To disobey?

We were still shattered to the bones, trying to catch up with what had happened. Only half an hour ago, we had been sitting in the contemporary art space, Stacion, in Prishtina. I sat in the middle, with Sixten on my right, and Martin on my left. Three wooden chairs next to each other. Half in anger, half despairing that the crowd in front of us did not listen, our bodies started to stiffen. They didn’t want to hear that we didn’t know what to do. You are invited here, you have to deliver what you signed up for, you cannot come here and ask for something, you’re here to give, was the reaction to our deeply felt conviction that being in Prishtina, being in this part of the world (the east of Europe, the western Balkans, Ex-Yugoslavia – all naming is incompetent when it comes down to subjective histories) rendered us mute. And that this mattered. That in fact nothing else mattered but this. We were incapable of reproducing what we had in mind initially when we got invited to the workshop on ‘Politics of Contemporary Art’. We felt the need to rebel against the way things were done (in the West, in the art world). To copy that, to copy ourselves, our own boring gestures, while we actually seemed to be absent or displaced in this here and now, not “at home”, not in language, felt wrong. It felt impossible. We had something to say, the idiot has something to say, the problem is not a lack of output, but that there is no one on the other end who comprehends. Although, Albert did, he got it right away. He showed the right sense of humor or cynicism. It must have all sounded a bit blunt, careless, and maybe even arrogant to the audience consisting of younger artists and theorists from Kosovo, Serbia, Montenegro, Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Slovenia and Croatia. Were we behaving childishly, insisting on, or revolutionary, or simply irresponsibly? Unanswerable? I remember pulling my right leg up at one point and shoving my boot under my buttocks in an act of suppressed fury. I was leaning forward and I was, quite likely, shouting too. I was sweating. I turned my head left and right. Martin and Sixten sat there in silence. Not at ease at all, they tried to cut in, a bit uninspired and without much success. In the end we probably achieved what we wanted to prevent by all means. We tried to say: you don’t have to listen to our story, you have nothing to learn from us, you have seen things we cannot even imagine (does that give one the right to ask about it?), you tell us. But they did listen, and they got upset and they did not talk. At least not about themselves, but they did talk about us, we were incapable of shifting to focus. I don’t think we were surprised, but we became frustrated anyway. Probably more with ourselves then with our audience. We knew we had fucked up but couldn’t do anything about it. (I remember Ambassador Richard Holbrooke the architect of the peace accord in Dayton for Ex-Yugoslavia, and what he had achieved by means of talking and listening. “How to end a war?” – I should finally read that book.) We hadn’t had the chance to prepare our speechlessness, to translate it into a clever act of communication. The need to not talk but listen hit us, and we were still tumbling from the blow. We felt horribly sensitized. We were helpless as how to transfer this need to a local audience or to function in a workshop structure that, all the same, we absolutely wanted to contribute to. We had something to say, we just didn’t know how. And we could not give up on the importance of that ignorance.

1

September 23, 2008. It was early in the morning when we left the house in Skopje. Our group of three was in a subdued mood. A friendly lazymouthedness that would soon change into a wave of exhilaration, and, a by now, well-acquainted series of slow morning jokes letting us slide unhurriedly into the fullness of the day. We were in this part of the world – the so-called western Balkans or the east of Europe – to investigate precisely this – the confusion of naming and belonging. The idea of the West and where it finds its end, its limitations, not so much geographically, as there clearly is no limit there, you can always go further west, but mentally, historically or psychologically within the framework of self-identification. Where does this label “the West” expire, where do people not care anymore which side they belong to? I had just written up a concept for an investigation dealing with these and acquainted questions, when I got invited to do a curatorial residency at Press-to-exit in Skopje. I decided to take the Wooloo Productions along.

The taxi driver ignored our attempts to get through to him, or maybe he was just not a morning person. I remember Martin’s black leather jacket, and Sixten’s piercing blue eyes communicating an alertness that his, still tired, body could not live up to yet. I was clearly under the weather, too, as I had had a bad cold since day one in Macedonia. My sinuses were inflamed, a reaction to my exhausted physical state. What might have slowed down my recovery was the fact that the streets of Skopje were filled with cars that polluted the air to a degree that I have not experienced before, not in L.A., not in New York, or London. Most of these vehicles were third rate cars from Western Europe being sold on in the east, where everyone wants a car and drives whatever is available, and, more significantly, affordable. Breathing got hard in some parts of the city, especially when your nose is blocked and your throat burns like hell already. I believe it was raining that morning but maybe I am mistaking the grey and dreary look of that early fall day in retrospect for something it was not. I might misremember a lot but not the feeling inside me that I was off to see something important in my life. We were headed to Prishtina, and that was not a small thing.

After a short taxi drive, we got to the bus station in Skopje. We bought our tickets in the busy waiting hall and found our vehicle in the outside car park without difficulty. We sat down somewhere in the middle of the bus, amongst a crowd of people, mostly men, who probably did that trip every morning to go to work. We were guessing and knew we wouldn’t get it right anyway. I remember vaguely that at some point we started to throw questions in English into the open to see whether someone would understand us and could reply. We were eager to know and unashamed enough to try all means at hand. We had done street interviews in Skopje, in the centre, at the big market and in the Jewish quarter just the day before, with people selling stuff of all kinds. We had chatted with a local music star that we had come across by coincidence and had followed for a while, and with other people, most of which would not speak English but use their own language and individual gestures. We would listen, observe and reply with smiles, words and nods. The exchange seemed enriching for both sides.

Once in the bus, I looked at my Danish friends. We stood out. A bit too blond, a bit too excited, roaming about in our seats like little children on a church bank while everyone else was just there, unaffected, in routine. Was this man going to see his sister again after many years of silence, his sister who had five children and a sick mother to take care of with no job and no man in the house? Hardly. Maybe he just wanted to buy a lamp in Prishtina he could not find in Skopje. And the young man before me, was he nervous because he was going to interview for a job in a hotel, something he never wanted to do and at the same time was anguished to mess up? It could as well be that he was just itchy from a late mosquito bite. In about thirty-two hours I would take a picture of Martin, then sitting at the window on the other side of the aisle. Silent, exhausted, looking out of the bus window with one hand holding on to something, one knee pulled up and pressed against the seat in front of him.

Apart from these initial observations and thoughts, I don’t recall much of the bus drive or the landscape of the first part of the trip, before we hit the border to the Republic of Kosovo, or Kosova, as Albert calls his country. I guess, I had been falling in and out of a deeply needed series of naps. We drove uphill on a meandering street, and drove past a green woody area before we stopped at the border. The abundance of bright green leaves, dewy, moist (maybe it really did rain that morning) took me by surprise. I felt welcomed, and that seemed vital for a moment. I should have prepared myself – for Prishtina, the workshop at Stacion, and Albert, who had invited us, but I did not.

At the border the bus stopped. We sat there for what seemed a rather long time. The border control collected most passports but only checked ours. The officials were not friendly, and not unfriendly. It was the usual wordless act of power that is imposed on all people crossing borders around the globe; this was not Gaza or Afghanistan, and still, it made me nervous. I watched every single move of the guards, their eyes and hands. The driver let the engine run the whole time through. When we drove out of the border control building, I was relieved that my body was finally taken elsewhere. The landscape that opened up in front of us was flat with hills in the far, it seemed dry, although I remember green patches and bits of woods. The villages we drove through appeared poor and were partly rebuilt with isolated houses in between them, building sites everywhere. I saw a lot of cement, men in leather jackets, women with head scarves, and kids walking, running, laughing.

2

And with these more tangible images, my mood changed. Something froze inside me, something got afraid.
I remembered that time; it was a good seventeen years ago, when I had read things about the war in Yugoslavia in the newspaper that would literally make me throw up. This was the first war in my life that I had followed with a fully developed political consciousness. It was the media that informed me every day, and it was not a distant description of war in a novel, or a biography. Of course it was still a safe 1250 kilometers away, but all the same, it had been the closest I had ever gotten to a misery of that dimension.
I knew people from Yugoslavia, the drama was not remote, and it had a tangible effect on my life, too. My family and I were dumbstruck when hearing about the rape camps and other cruelties only humans that go insane beyond salvation can come up with. (Is really everyone a victim in a war?) We were in pain, the silent, burning pain of compassion. Why does another’s bad lot hurt us? Some say, it is because we are all always/already connected. We are all too close as human beings; this is the heavy part of belonging to this earthly race. Not that we do not understand each other, but we are too much the same. And what makes us turn away is not the misunderstanding, or that we’re fed up or bored or disgusted with someone. We are appalled with ourselves, the sheer possibility that we can fail, suffer and be destroyed too. L’enfer c’est l’autre.

After having learned about the rape camps, a distinct image, or rather scene, started to form in my head that I could not get rid of. As a matter of fact, it is still there, but it takes more will and time to recreate it now. I cannot say from where exactly I got it. Everything in it is in sepia brown. When I thought of the war back then, I saw a ramshackle gym hall with a row of school tables stacked one next to the other on one end of the room. Behind it I saw large windows reaching form the ceiling almost to the ground. The time was not detectable; it could have been night or day. Laid and stretched out on these tables were women of all age. Fully dressed, half dressed, half naked; some were completely naked, showing abused skin with bruises in all colors. Some were half dead, some were crying and shouting; some were silent in tears, whereas others seemed to breathe with difficulty or did not at all anymore. In front of every woman stood a long line of soldiers waiting to be next to climb on the tables to rape, or rape again. Many of the soldiers were drugged or drunk or in a state of frenzy; they did what they were told to do and sought in their own way to be absent while committing this crime. Their eyes were wandering around in hate and helplessness. Some wanted to run away and were held back; others were intently loud and aggressive to steam up the atmosphere. There was blood on the women and around them. Some had been pregnant, but by the end of the day, were not anymore. Some had lain there dead for hours already. Others tried to kill themselves but were hindered by the soldiers. Whenever this image started to manifest itself in my brain, I used to wonder whether the women would have looked at each other while this insanity was going on, trying to comfort each other, to tell each other that they must not feel shame. Trying to make one another understand that none of this was their fault and that none of this had to do with them. Were they trying to give each other little signs of humanity, or were they all drowning in humiliation?

My fantasies of these long lines of soldiers, and the women of all age suffering, the dying hands cramped into a soldier’s coat or shirt while the woman wanted to be as far away from that very body as possible. Being locked in by the perpetrator while fading, not free to turn one last time, to a blue sky, a friendly face, or just to see nothing. Brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, mothers and sons, everyone against everyone.
I could hardly bear looking at my family in those days, the scene sat in my head so starkly, clouding all human interaction. To be told to kill what one loves, what one would die for oneself but wasn’t allowed to. Or to being forced to watch such a thing. Rape for ethnic cleansing happened in Kosovo at the border to Albania by Serbian militia. Rape was a way of dragging people down to the very bottom of the pit. It is the act of killing a person without dying. Women have to live with the memory and they have to face their parents. It is also an assault on a woman’s identity because they can end up giving birth to a child that is partly Serb.

My boyfriend at the time stopped making love to me, as he could not forget about the things he had read about.

3

I saw Prishtina in the far stretching out in front of us, encircled by a softly sloping row of hills. It was bigger than expected and then again smaller than history would make it sound. It looked grey, grey in shades of yellow and red. The newly built skyscrapers at the periphery of the city seemed to stand out too tall, out of place. I learned later that this was a new housing project for young families; these flats were less costly than the ones in the center.

We got out of the bus, and the first thing we realized was that we had no Euros on us; our Macedonian denars were useless here. We succeeded to buy some bananas anyway; we were starved. The name of the hotel we had to go to was well known to the taxi driver, and to the little crowd of his peers that soon gathered around us. All the same, everyone was pointing out something else on the map laid out on an engine hood, we laughed, while an impressive amount of fingers fluttered over the lines and color pads that symbolized the capital of Kosovo. The drive up to the hotel went smoothly, we drove past rows of city houses, bars and little grocery stores. There were not that many people in the street. The mood in the city seemed somber and controlled. The taxi stopped opposite from the address we were meant to be taken to, the Grand Hotel, in the city center. We walked into the hotel hall, and I checked in. My two companions were accommodated with a young curator from London who was also in the city for the workshop at Stacion. They had to sleep on the floor; I believe I felt treated like a queen, and Martin and Sixten were like my private slaves. We made jokes about this. They often sensed that they were not living up to the macho standard of the city and were looked down at. Both fled more than one bar feeling out of sorts.

After checking in, we did what most Westerners do in Prishtina – we sat in the waiting hall of the Grand Hotel and drank cappuccino. We were waiting for a coworker of Stacion to take us to the place. All the suits I saw, men in black, pretty waiters and a lot of gentle arrogance lying in the air, impressed me. The Grand Hotel was famous for its melting pot grandezza. I remember an article by the BBC news about this location. The author stated that, while everyone’s lives have been changed by the war, the centre of Prishtina seemed little damaged, at least compared with some of Kosovo’s other towns. Many of the shops were open; some of those formerly run by Serbs have simply been taken over by returning Albanians. He further was asking himself who was owning what in Kosovo these days, what belonged to the Serbs, what to the workers of Kosovo and what to the Albanians, including this hotel.

Although, we had never seen the person from Stacion before, we could spot her immediately when she entered the hotel hall. She was a global art world fashionada, accepting the current western law of style. Wearing a bit more color than everyone else, the right kind of shoes, the apt type of scarf in terms of the pattern and the way it was knotted. She took us to the art space along the main street. On the way I saw a large collection of letter-sized color photographs of young men (being missed from the war?) hanging on a white gate in the center of the city along the main street; nobody seemed to be interested in them but me. I passed women fully covered from head to toe and others being dresses according to a more western style. Older men were walking in clusters blocking the rather wide walkway. Stacion sat neatly on the left to an ample gate entrance. It looked like a little church with a star on the back entrance. We had to walk around it in order to enter the building through the front door. On a green patch next to it, a bunch of kids were playing soccer. Stacion is not hidden away, and still, one is doomed to miss it if looking for it for the first time. It was impressively neat and spacious inside, with an upper office floor; rough and refined in its architecture. What struck me, though, was how invasive the visual language of the Western art world is. One can go almost anywhere on this planet, but the way art spaces are set up would look consistently the same – if affordable, everyone cuts into this long chain of copies of copies of white cubes. And Stacion could afford it, it seemed.

When I was looking for a public toilet in the streets around Stacion, I entered two or three coffee places until I found one. There was one opposite the art space, in the building of a former museum or academia, but Albert didn’t want me to go there. His male guests he warned too, but without the same perseverance. I also came by what must have been a traditional, old-fashioned looking cafe, for men only, which was located at the main street. I knew these generous and often beautifully decorated spaces from Morocco and Casablanca, especially. Although there they usually have been stuffed. I was lured closer by the colorful walls and the enticing windows that went all the way from the ceiling down to the floor. Whenever I passed there I could make out a handful of men lying and sitting on long benches, casually, with their backs to the street, or not, smoking the pipe, drinking tea, looking lazy and important. I wished I could hang among them; it sure seemed like a world of its own worth being part of, zoomed off from the rest, from stink and noise, and anything that could trouble humankind.

After having inspected Stacion, Albert and I were browsing several streets in the center trying to find this one special coffee place he wanted to take me to. A little path led us through a housing complex in the back yard of a smaller row of houses. We passed parked cars and jumped over puddles of rainwater. When we finally found the place and stepped inside, we were hit by an impenetrable wall of cigarette smoke. We turned on our heels and jumped back out of it. (In Skopje a law against spitting in public had been implemented – to comply with European standards a bit more, someone suggested to me, while Macedonia was still waiting to become a full EU-member. When would Kosovo be pushed to introduce the smoking ban on public spaces?) I only got a quick glance at the flowery wallpaper and second-hand wooden furniture. Although, “second-hand” might not be the right term to apply here. The next place we entered was a more conventional bar; the interior was hard to make out, as the room was stacked with people, a youngish and middle-aged crowd, well dressed and expressive. Albert and I sat down on a couch, squeezed in between a group of people he knew. For a moment we could talk, about our expectations of the workshop, about Albert in Kosovo, who I saw for the first time again after the Albert I got to know in New York. About him as a dad, and as an arts organizer and artist. I tried to invite him for a talk at the Kunsthalle Luzern just a few weeks before, but the visum didn’t get through in time. We had worked on both sides, Prishtina and Luzern to advance things, but the Swiss Embassy in Pristina had been unimpressed by my phone calls and Albert’s many visits there. How easy it was for me, a Swiss person, to travel almost anywhere, and how different it was for a Kosovar, a EU-citizen, by all means. He depended fully on official invitations. I even had to sign a statement saying that I would cover all unruly costs created by my guest during his stay in Switzerland. We were laughing about it now. I told him that I was sitting here with him realizing that for the first time I consciously shared a room with people who have fought in a war. Of course I knew people in New York and Los Angeles who had done the same, but this was the first time I was physically present in that very war zone. I told Albert that this knowledge made me itchy, and insecure. I had so many questions but thought that I should not pose them; that I had no right to ask or to know. War, in the end, is something very intimate. I was ashamed of my curiosity but also didn’t want to repress it. What happened to the art scene during the war? Albert said that some stopped doing art, for others it became existential. He had stopped. Albert fled to Skopje. How can we talk together, you and me, with such different backgrounds informing our lives? Just don’t talk about the war, if you want to achieve for us to exchange something, or produce something together. Start here and now. It was not what I wanted to hear. Again I was told that dwelling on differences doesn’t bring people closer. But how can we understand what we’re saying to each other when we don’t know where we’re coming from? A few hours later I would stumble over this exact mental hurdle, and I would have no means at hand to save me.

4

The next morning Martin, Sixten and I met up at the Grand Hotel coffee bar. The weather was sunny and we sat outside on the luscious black leather sofas. We had another round of cappuccinos, chatting along with the one waiter who kept saying “it’s all right” at the most improper moments. Mistaking the phrase for a synonym to say thank you, we were guessing. We tried to prepare for the workshop at Stacion where we were invited to introduce *"The Sahara Project: West, where is that?" The three of us together had only started to contemplate the issue of the West a good week ago at a curatorial residency in Skopje. Before that it had been I, alone, who had been concerned with the topic. It was the first time Wooloo Productions and internationalcoffeeshop.org worked together. As a consequence, these past days had evoked a million questions in our heads, which already had resulted in a handful of decisive experiences during our stay in Macedonia. We still felt very new – not just to the subject matter – but also to each other, we were not entirely sure how the other ticked and tripped. In that sense, we experienced a methodological caught-up. We had too little time to find a common language, at the same time we didn’t want to let just one of us talk, and decided to intensify our exchange over the coming days in “the East”. The topic was huge, our ambition remarkable, or insane. We enjoyed listening to each other’s uncertainties and sensitivities. It all made sense, and it all seemed to matter but we were realistic enough to know that we wouldn’t have the chance to mould these many ends and gaps together into one whole within the next four hours. In the end, we decided to not report on our project but to cut into the matter at hand directly instead of talking about it. No detour through the area of niceties and academic gepflogenheiten. After a long discussion we decided to sum our quest up as briefly as possible and thereby create a space for a potential discussion. We got rid of a large catalogue of questions, and reduced our list to one sentence: “How can we be of service to you?” We didn’t want to do something for them, but with or even to them. In the hope that we would learn to understand better where we were, and who they were in that presumed place.

The generation of people born around 1970 in the West and in the Balkans differed vastly in the way they experienced the world in their twenties. We wanted to, painfully, widen that gap between us and them to get a better viewpoint of one another. The global art world, although functioning internationally, has a way of flattening out all edges of difference through its rigid system of representation – of people, ideas, and products. It is a dangerous place in that it emphasizes on sameness, it drastically wants it, needs it, produces it in order to “draw numbers”, be sellable and attractive for a lot and in one glance. We knew enough about that; we played that card daily in our jobs. We wanted to get a chance to see, hear something else by giving something else. Something un-reflected, something that doesn’t fit. That was what we wanted and that was what we didn’t get. Maybe it was our fault, mistaking geography for reality. We were east of our west, but the east on-site had long caught up with the west, while the west (or we) still felt the need to hang on, to dwell, and to essentially analyze something that it could place outside of itself. It’s a narcissistic trait we wanted to break with but showed little talent in doing so.



There is always an after (traveling)

When we were back on the bus it felt like we had never left it. And everything that had happened was a bad and wonderful dream. We tried something imperfect. It sat in our silence, it sat in our bones. We were happy to be understood by a few, that was not the most sincere thing to happen, to get through to some, even to just one? I couldn’t say. Maybe not. What we tried would leave a mark. I would chew on this for a long time; in fact, a part of me would never really get out of this bus.


*In an article issued last year in the culture magazine La Lettre, the Russian, Germany-based philosopher Boris Groys puts his finger on a crucial cultural-historical landmark in order to explain the European understanding of the arts and its factual domination. Groys claims that the adoration of the art object in the Western hemisphere is directly linked with the idea of dignity with regard to the human being, in the humanistic traditional sense. In the arts as well as in the humanistic tradition, the object as well as the human body is considered untouchable – they can both be used as means but mustn’t be functionalized. This ideal is defined – and here lies the risk – as a genuinely European value, and the humanistic thought considered equivalent with European thought per se, states Boris Groys. Resulting from this conviction is the denial of the ability of dignity, humanity, democracy and tolerance to everything and everyone non-European, quasi per definitionem.

For a few decades now, a new order is rendering itself visible or audible in Europe, which is going beyond the separation into West, East, Central and Middle Europe, to name just a few “Europes”. It seems that the “West” moves steadily towards the “East” on the map and in people’s self-perception. Formerly set agreements seem to shift and stir, while one thought still stands there solidly: The idea of one real Europe within Europe. An idea, which is based on the European ideal – the Humanistic tradition itself being located in the West, the West of Europe, while the East (reaching beyond Europe) is planned to be ”converted” through economical and cultural funding and sponsoring. At the same time, more and more investors from the European and Asian East invest in mammoth culture projects in the West. The question resulting from all these observations and economical, cultural and political interdependences is: Where is the West, today, and what is its connection with a place formerly defined as “Europe”? The Sahara Project wants to discuss the “repressed part” (verfemter Teil, Groys) of the Western tradition of thought, that fraction of the humanistic tradition, which questions and always has self-critically interrogated the European hegemony and geographical position.

Crucial questions include the following:
– Where does the West end, where does the East start and based on what historical and present-day consciousness within the arts?
– Can the terms “East” and “West” still be applied in any illuminating way, especially with regard to an internationally connected and globally communicating art world? If it is, what and who profits from it and what does it mean to be from the “East” or the “West”?  If the terms “East” and “West” cannot satisfactorily be applied for a political, personal and artistic state of being – what terms or concepts could we replace them with?
– Is there a border-free/transgressing art (practice) and who is receiving it?
– Central questions are: Does this “we” even exist, in the West, or the East, and whom would it include?

The Sahara Project attests: We stand in the desert, and we stand there together. Paralyzed between how to overcome cultural stereotypes and an art terminology that needs further distinction and accuracy, feeling estranged, not at home within one’s own geographical accountings and (second-hand) reflections in the world. The Sahara Project wants to attempt to step across this polarity of East and West with the question “West, where is that?” and gather representatives of both sides researching mutual fantasies, visions, as well as images of envy and disgust.

Lillian Fellmann, 2010

This article is part of a publication issued by Vision Forum called "Travels – placeless place", edited by Louise Nilsson and Lisa Boström.